Kim Tipton's MS/CPS JOURNEY
BY
Kim Tipton

My life was full of wonderful things, a nursing career, a good home, and a brilliant family, and many good friends. Life several years on is very different. My life has changed in some ways, beyond recognition. I have MS, and have to learn how to behave as a 'disabled' person, seen by Society now, as less than 'perfect'. Some say I'm angry, others doing well, 'under the circumstances'. My pain levels are high, in my body and my heart. The damaged nerves are like having a 'demon' in my body, it's moved in to my home, with me and my family.

Before I go to bed at night, 'if I manage to get in bed' I ask myself, will tomorrow be different, will my legs no longer function, and aid me to tread and travel this bumpy road, to nowhere. Or will they partially function, but still be in such pain, that I wished they belonged to someone else. Pain free, what's that? I do not recall a life without the DEMON of pain, it's a reminder, that this is a powerful attempt to control my body, as well as my mind. Pain affects my mind, body and soul, tormenting me, punishing me for 'nothing'. Maybe tomorrow my body will be silent, no feeling', 'no pain', this is a comfort as I attempt to close my eyes, if only for a little while. If there is no pain tomorrow, my body will be silent, my mind will remember, you don't forget 'pain' or its power and authority over a demon body.